I get so tired of standing up on my own. I mean, I take pride in being independant. But it's so freaking exhausting.Unlike what movies tell you, carrying the world on your shoulders is not romantic or beautiful, it's exhausting. Sometimes, i just wish someone would offer to pick up the slack, without me even having to ask.
Because the thing is, when I do ask, I often get turned down. What kind of society have we come to, that friends turn down friends for help. Since when is this acceptable? Do I have bad friends, or am I just living in a selfish, self-centered society that made it acceptable for people to focus on their own needs vs helping others.
It makes me isolate myself even more. Why bother? Why even bother reaching out if you're going to get turned down? See, in movies, when the 'carry the weight of the world of their shoulder' character goes to a dark place, their journey is generally realizing that it's okay to ask for help. But they never talk about what happens when you do bother asking, and nothing happens.
Why can't I be the tortured female lead that makes the male romantic interest want to hold and protect her. And why do I keep comparing my life to movies? This is seriously fucked....
