Coffee in the Morning

You know there are very few times in my life when I find myself sitting around, thinking "I wish I was married," but today, I mean...I'm happy. You know? I like my life. I like my friends,.I like my stuff. My time, my space, my TV. But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning...

Lorelai Gilmore

Ballerina Project

A friend of mine made me discover this wonderful project. The pictures are just breathtaking. You should all take a look!

Ballerina Project

Rookie Blue

How come I didn't know about this show until now? I know i saw trailers on
TV but I never watch it. Oh my, it's amazing. Not only is it shot in Toronto,
but it actually takes place there. NO pretending to be american. Missy Peregrym
does a great job as lead actress and her chemistry with Ben Bass is h-o-t. I
love all the natural moments we get to see on the show, i'm pretty sure all the
actors have a great time filming it.

Oh also, I stared at Charlotte Sullivan for a whole episode before I
googled her and found out she was in Harriet the Spy; a movie I watch way too
many times as a kid. Poor Charlotte, I can't help but think of Marion everytime
she comes on the screen! She sure is pretty...

I'm completly obsessed and sad I'm almost done with season 2 (I'm streaming
it from the globaltv website). However, good news, season 3 is coming up this
summer. Woot woot!

False Advertisement

There's this new Kraft Dinner commercial for the 'Smart' line where they claim that their new KD now has "half a serving of cauliflower". Wow! Half a full serving? You mean that the kid that is eating a bowl of KD for dinner got half a serving off his recommended 8 to 10 servings of fruits and vegetables a day? Well that IS healthy!

God damn advertisement. While I can agree with using vegetable pasta and can appreciate them trying to at least make it healthier, please don't pretend KD is a healthy food...It's not. It's junk food. Just like Nutella isn't a healthy breakfast for a kid even if it has hazelnut and skim milk. It's still chocolate! It should be used for desert and not part of a "healthy breakfast" as they claim.

Then they wonder why there is so much obesity....

Reality Check

I get so tired of standing up on my own. I mean, I take pride in being independant. But it's so freaking exhausting.Unlike what movies tell you, carrying the world on your shoulders is not romantic or beautiful, it's exhausting. Sometimes, i just wish someone would offer to pick up the slack, without me even having to ask.

Because the thing is, when I do ask, I often get turned down. What kind of society have we come to, that friends turn down friends for help. Since when is this acceptable? Do I have bad friends, or am I just living in a selfish, self-centered society that made it acceptable for people to focus on their own needs vs helping others.

It makes me isolate myself even more. Why bother? Why even bother reaching out if you're going to get turned down? See, in movies, when the 'carry the weight of the world of their shoulder' character goes to a dark place, their journey is generally realizing that it's okay to ask for help. But they never talk about what happens when you do bother asking, and nothing happens.

Why can't I be the tortured female lead that makes the male romantic interest want to hold and protect her. And why do I keep comparing my life to movies? This is seriously fucked....

Busy Weekend

I have plans everyday this weekend. Which is exciting! Being busy is good!

Tonight i'm going to Mash Up at Shift Space, tomorow I have a birthday party for a friend and sunday I have a dinner plan with an old friend I don't see often enough!

I also made lots of food yesterday so my fridge is stocked and my heart is light.

If only my kitty could get over her cold..she makes me sad. Sleeping and sneezing all the time :(

Sarah McLaclan

Nobody can make me cry like this woman!

Hold on, hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell

You know that only time will tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe

This isn't easier than the real thing
My love, you know that you are my best friend

Am I in heaven or am I in Hell
At the crossroad I'm standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray

Hold on, hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell

Snow Day

We have snow today!!

I, of course, stayed inside in my PJs. That is the joy of unemployement! i'm still waiting to hear about the play I auditionned for last week, and I have a meeting tomorow. So, it's not all bad! (Except for the part where I'm still spending days in my pyjamas)

I finally braved the cold and put on my hat and boots to go to IGA. I'm gonna treat myself to a nice spaguetti dinner with ciabatta and wine.

There!

Speed of Sound

Where to, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

Split Personality

I've discovered something about myself recently. I have a pretty split personality. Half of me seek comfort; a home, with children and a partner and cooking and baking and laundry. I enjoy feeling taking care of, secure, safe. My childhood was quite crazy, i went through a lot and I don't think I got enough of that "safe" feeling that children crave. That half of my personallity is the child in me trying to get that back.

The other half thrives on adventure and craziness. I love feeling free and wild. I love motorcycle rides and impromptu vacations. I dive headfirst in relationships and end up regretting them. I seek a partner that is challenging and exciting. It's that part of me that wishes for an acting career.

My two halves hate each other. When I choose to act, the safe side of me worries about money. When I want to pick everything up and move cities, I realize that I own two pets, a lease and that I have a mother whom I would leave alone. When I find a perfect comforting secure partner, part of me wishes for adventure and freedom. I am never satisfied because I cannot pick which part of me is more me.

Lancaster, Ontario

I've been gone for a really long time peeps and for this I apologize. During my absence, the leaves turned all kinds of beautiful color and the temperature dropped significantly! But I was gone for a good reason, living out one of my dreams; being the lead in a horror movie. I spent a month living in a trailer, showering in quarters operated public showers and peeing in the woods. I am banged up all over from doing stunts and running through the woods in high heels and barely any clothing. And yet, I had the time of my life! I met amazing people and laughed everyday. I discovered so much about myself as a person and as an actress.

I would do it all over again even if someone were to warn me about the 28 consecutive days sleeping in a chilly damp trailer in the middle of a creepy trailer park. It was worth all the scratches, bruises, rug burn and runny nose.

I'll post some pics of my adventure soon!

Healthy Omelette

Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I started cooking breakfast. 'Cause see, I used to eat simple things like cheese on toast or oatmeal which I would prepare at the office. I haven't made breakfast at home in forever. If I made breakfast during the week-end I would usually indulge in crêpes.

So now I need to cook breakfast and it needs to be healthy. 'cause if I'm going to be unemployed, I'm at least going to be healthy!

So this is my recipe for a quick and delicious omelette:

2 x eggs white
1 x eggs with yolk
a pinch of onion powder
a pinch of dried thyme
salt and pepper
drips of tabasco sauce (optional)
a handful of baby spinach
a handful of slices mushrooms
grated old cheddar

Spray a small frying pan with cooking spray and sauted the mushrooms on medium heat. Meanwhile, whisk the eggs, spinach and spices together. Put the mushroom aside and pour the egg mixture in the same pan. Cook about 2-3 minutes on each side, then place the mushrooms and cheese on one half, folding the other on top. Reduce the temperature and, to make the cheese melt faster, place a pot cover over the pan. This will help melting your cheese while making sure you aren't overcooking the omelette side still touching the pan. Served with a piece of whole wheat bread buttered with Earth Balance. Enjoy!

A Day in California

This is what I long for:

A Day in California from Ryan Killackey on Vimeo.

Living Alone

I've recently moved into my first ME apartement. I've had plenty of roomates, and as much as I loved them, I was in dire need of my very own space.

Things I love about living alone:

• Everything in the fridge is yours. No more looking at something yummy and being unable to eat it!
• No one is ever using the bathroom when you gotta go
• If you feel like staying in your pyjamas all day, no one notices!
• The only boyfriend around is yours
• Walking around naked is now an option
• All the closet space is yours to envade
• If it's dirty; you dirtied it
• Major control over the TV remote

I wish i could also add that all the mail is yours, but unfortunatetly, I seem to be getting mail for the past 3 tenants...

Sandwich Heaven

There was a time where I couldn't even look at sandwiches anymore. When you are young and you go to school, you eat sandwiches a lot. Then after highschool, I decided sandwiches weren't my thing anymore. I started eating sandwiches again in my last year of college. I was broke and living in a downtown apartement with 3 other student working part-time in a café. Sandwiches were the perfect economical option. Then I got a job and ate hot lunches.

I've recently restarted eating sandwiches (mostly because I'm dead broke again! ha!) but I think I got the science down to an art now. My sandwiches are heavenly!

Sandwich Heaven recipe:
1 olive ciabatta bread
Creamy Old Style Dijon Mustard (I've also used French White Wine Dijon Mustard!)
4 slices of tofurkey (now available at your local grocery store, look for them in the healthy/vegetarian section)
2 slices of dill pickes
a handful of black olives
a handful of baby spinach
a thin slice of old cheddar cheese.

YUM!

Orlando and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter

I thought it was about time I posted about the trip I took to Orlando with my mom at the end of July. Our main goal was to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Land of Adventures but we also hit Universal Studios, Sea World and Aquatica.
Above is Hogwarts, this is the best pic I could get without all the tourists in front of it. It's huge. There's an attraction inside, not exactly a roller coaster but very very cool!

Me drinking butter beer! It's quite disgusting actually. Kinda like rootbeer with lots of caramel sirup. There's also this fake chemical layer of foam on top. I was happy to get to drink it, but I threw out probably a third of it. :( Oh, i'm eating at Three Broomsticks in this picture! :) Oh, and there was nothing vegetarian there so I ate small cornish game hen pot pie. I think Harry Potter deserves for me to break my regular diet.
Eating vegetarian in Orlando was the worst. My options were often only veggie pizza or pasta. I also got a delicious garden burger at some burger joint. But mostly, I ate cheese, lots of cheese. Surprisingly, Sea World is where I got actual vegetarian options! They had a wonderful vegetable chilli served in a multigrain bread bowl. It was delish! Thank you Sea World!

Speaking of which, this is me feeding dolphins! Yes, I payed 7$ to get 4 tiny fish to feed to dolphins. But look how excited they are! I felt like a child and was overly excited myself. It was a great experience!

Verdun Library

Today I went to the library. While that sounds very normal, even boring, it was extremely exciting for me. See I can't remember the last time I went to a library that wasn't my university's library, where I looked for research material. No, I went to my community library and took out movies! Movies! At the library, you can take movies out for free and keep them a week. Isn't that fantastic? You can also get recipe book and cook yummy things without spending money on cookbooks and, of course, you can take out books. Which you can read for free. And if you don't like them, you don't feel bad for buying them on a whim and being stuck with them (coughToss of a Lemoncough).

Happy Tuesday

Today, I had a vanilla soy lattee, took a long shower, went to the movies and saw a sweet movie with a good friend (Crazy, Stupid, Love), had an homemade garden burger and took a nap.

It's been a pretty good day my friends! I love the simple pleasures in life.

I find that I appreciate food much more now that I don't eat meat. I have to think about what I will eat and I look foward to it. The fact that I get all my produce from an organic farm helps as well. It feels like everything I put in my mouth is heaven. I just hope to keep feeling this great about food and life.

Aerolatte

Hello hello!

I'm back from vacation in Orlando, i've got lots to tell but until I upload my pictures, I want to share something I just found out; how amazing an aerolatte is. Everyone who knows me knows I LOVE lattes. Mochachinos more specifically but lattes in general. So I bought myself a little gidget called an 'aerolatte' a while back, before I even moved. I bought it from amazon 'cause it was on special and I figured it wouldn't work very well but I loved the idea of being able to make lattes at home. See, I used to be a barista, I therefore got used to making myself perfect coffee from a professional barista machine and then missed it the second I stopped working there. But 5$ for a latte is crazy if you want to drink one every morning!


So anyway, i bought the device, never used it and I tried it this morning. It's amazing!!! It frothed my soy milk A LOT. I then made a shot of expresso, pourred it in and VOILA! The only difference with a steam frother is that it doesn't warm up the milk. So I put it in the microwave for a minute first. After taht, it's 20 seconds, no mess and lots of froth. I'm so happy. I can now enjoy vanilla soy milk lattes whenever I feel like it for waaaayyy cheaper than Starbucks!

Sarah McLachlan: queen of my heart

I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
But I denied in my capacity to love
I am willing, to give up this fight

New Beginnings

I haven't written in a really long time and I apologize. It seems a lot of things dramatically changed in my life recently and instead of capturing them here, I took some time for myself and figured some things out.

But i'm back and hopefully with a force! ;)

I'm currently unemployed, an unfortunate event that is also a blessing in disguised. It permitted me to refocus my attention on what I wanted to accomplish in life and figure out who I wanted to be. I want to work for a non-profit organization, preferably in the fundraising sector. So i'm currently applying to a lot of places and volunteering at different organization to gain experience and therefore become more employable. Changing careers isn't easy. I feel like i'm trying to penetrate a very tight circle and it's an uphill battle.

Besides that i've moved into my very own apartment. After having roomates for 4 years, it was time for me to have my own space, my own safe haven. It's been a lot of work, packing, moving, unpacking, renovating, organizing etc. But it's also very rewarding. I have to paint my walls soon and i'm excited to pick colors and make it all mine.

I will leave you now with one of my favourite quote and a promise to write more often!

Be the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

Life

Life is chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride.

Jimmy Eat World

Change this to '25' and that's pretty much where I'm at!

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...

Foster Monster & Skinny Bitches

It's been quite a while since I've posted! I apologize!

I've actually been quite busy. I took another foster dog from the SPCA but he's much more work than my dear Mia (now named Daphnee) was! The poor boy wasn't educated properly so he still marks his territory (urinate) and is VERY dominant. I can't let him on couches or on my bed as to assert myself as alpha dog. He also tries to hump anything that moves, including my knee once while I was crouching. It's quite disturbing...especially for the cats!

But he's a good dog. He just needs a firm hand and some neutering. He's a butterfly/shitzu/cocker spaniel mix. He's so cute you almost forget the monster in him.


On another note, I finished reading Skinny Bitch, a vegan prone tough-love guidebook. It was entertaining and hilarious as they don't go easy on the language. It was the first time I've ever been called a pussy for drinking coffee! It has, however, inspired me to do better with my diet and eat more fruits and vegetables and way less meat. I've been eating meat about once a week since, discovering lots of meat substitues, like soya based fake chicken, at a local health food store. A good friend of mine is also doing the same so we support each other and sometimes go grocery shopping together. I recommend the book to anyone who's ever been intrigued by vegetarism (although, it is a very strict vegan guidebook) and wants to learn some horrible truth about the food industry.

Beware

Veronica Mars

So I've been re-watching Veronica Mars on DVD ever since that day I worked from home last week. On my lunch break, I decided to pop-in the first season as I had no shows left to watch (damn you hiatus!). And now I've obsessed again. This show was amazing. I love Kristen Bell and I love the balance of spy action with high school drama. Oh, and aren't Veronica and Logan the hottest couple ever?

Anyways, I stumbled upon these videos and I'm ashamed to admit I had never seen them before. After watching them, I can't believe the show didn't get picked up for that 4th season. What a shame! Veronica would have been one kick-ass FBI agent!

Runny Nose

I have a cold...It was really nice last Sunday and I was visiting apartments. I got overly excited and only wore my leather jacket and a light scarf. It was a great outfit but unfortunately not warm enough for the season. So I got a cold, the sneezing kind. You always get either the sneezing kind of the coughing kind. I'm mostly a sneezing girl. I always get congested and can't breathe through my nose, which makes me cranky.

But you know what annoys me the most? When you get that tingling feeling in your nose like you're about to sneeze and then you raise the Kleenex to your face (i don't like sneezing in my hands, eww) and wait and wait and nothing happens.

And often, some muscle in your face also tense up and you look like you smelled a smelly fart and yet you don't sneeze. Isn't it frustrating? Just sneeze dammit!

Vintage

I came across these pictures the other day and I can't help but love them. Aren't they wonderful pictures? The baby is me of course and those are my mom and dad. It makes me sad to see that picture of my dad, knowing that he isn't a part of my life anymore, but it also reminds me that he used to be! And those memories are precious.

I want to print that picture of me and my mom and buy a nice frame and give it to my mom. Is that sappy? Oh, what do I care, she'd love it!

"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead! True story..."

Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

Greek Heaven

Today I had a heavenly breakfast:

1. 3 heaping tablespoon of plain greek yougurt (and i mean real tablespoons, not the measuring spoons)
2. a handful of blueberries and blackberries
3. a teaspoon of greek honey
4. a sprinkle of granola

YUM!

Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood sucks, don't go see it.

I'm a big Amanda Seyfried fan and when i learned she had been casted in this movie I thought "oh my, her dear in headlight look will be perfect for this story!" However, this movie would have been good if it would have been directed by M. NightShamalan but it was not. It was directed by Catherine Hardwick, the woman who directed Twilight.

Now, I was aware of this information before entering the movie theatre. However, what I was not aware of is that Catherine Hardwick was going to direct Red Riding Hood like a Twilight knock off. The woman has no intention of differencing herself from the franchise or even trying to direct something that might gain her some respect form her peers.

The movie is overly dramatized, overly poetized and states the obvious, over and over again, as if the audience is too dumb to understand imagery. It is shot exactly like the Twilight movie, with big conifer trees in the background and dumb pretty people in the forefront. The werewolf is secondary storyline to the love triangle, which isn't much of a triangle as the heroine states her choice in mate in the first scene of the movie.

Just like the Bella/Edward/Jacob love triangle offers no true contradiction in Bella's choice; Valerie never shows any intention of choosing Henry over Peter.Catherine Hardwick obviously enjoys having a man pinning over her without having any intentions of ever giving him light of day.

All in all, this is not the horror/suspense I was expecting to see but a sappy love story entangled in a earie atmosphere. Even Amanda Seyfried and her pretty blonde hair couldn't save that one for me...

If you sprinkle when you tinkle

To girls who squat and pee on the seats of public bathrooms; you are part of the problem, not the solution.

It's a bathroom, not a gym, just sit on the damn thing!!

Back to December

Back to Reality

I came back from vacation on Thursday night, only to be whisked away for the week-end at my work by-annual getaway. So it's been pretty busy but good busy! :)

I went on a cruise with Carnival ships (the Carnival Destiny to be exact) and had a blast in Jamaica and Cayman Island. I will do a longer post on that vacation soon!

Now, today I had to face a snow storm, get back to work and I have a class tonight at McGill. Oh vacation how I miss you already!

Radar

Confidence is a must
Cockiness is a plus
Edginess is a rush
Edges; i like them rough

If I meow back at my cats, does that make me a crazy cat lady?

Expectations

Today, a doberman went home with a 19 months kid...Let rewind a bit!

During my shift at the SPCA, a family of three; mother, father and a 19 month old kid asked me to help them find the perfect dog for them. So I automatically looked into all the dogs we have that are recommended for young children but they all had something that didn't quite made it work. We had this perfect border collie which had "kids +++" on her file but the dad didn't feel any chemistry with the dog, but he was interested in a doberman/german sheperd mix called "Ranger".

So we looked at his file and he seemed pretty chill for a doberman so I offered to bring him to a contact room and see how he would react to the child. First I brought the dog in the room with me and the dad (the dogs have a tendancy to get overly excited when they get taken out of their cages and I wanted him to have time to calm down before subjeting him to a 19 months old baby). The dog was super sweet and calm. We brought in the mom and baby and he basically ignored the child, let him pet him and everything.

They went to walk him and I spoke with a dog trainer there to ask for his opinion on that adoption. You see, Dobermans are guard dogs, and so are german sheperds. Which makes them territorial and not really kid friendly. They can get agressive and they are pretty imposing. So the dog trainer came in the room with us when they came back to see Ranger interact with the dog. He gave his green light when he saw how patient the doberman was being with the baby.

So today, a doberman went home with a 19 months old kid. The craziest thing happen when you least expect them. I'm proud that today I helped a family grow in the most unexpected way.

Blue Valentine

I saw Blue Valentine last week with a friend and I really appreciated the script and the acting. Blue Valentine is about a couple coming together and coming apart; about the beautiful love story between two strangers and the devastating truth that they do not belong anymore many years in the future. As depressing as the movie is, it is so acurate and raw that we cannot refuse its reality. It might not sugar coat and offer a happy ending full of hope, but it does offer a naturalistic look at love, at sex and at marriage. It is not because something is right at a time that it will stay right. People change, people grow apart and, unfortunately, love is lost. Not to mention that Michelle and Ryan act their butts off. The abortion scene will make every girl who watches the movie reconsider taking sexual protection lightly. You've been warned!

Shakespeare Sonnet # 36

Let me confess that we two must be twain,
Although our undivided loves are one:
So shall those blots that do with me remain
Without thy help by me be borne alone.
In our two loves there is but one respect,
Though in our lives a separable spite,
Which though it alter not love's sole effect,
Yet doth it steal sweet hours from love's delight.
I may not evermore acknowledge thee,
Lest my bewailed guilt should do thee shame,
Nor thou with public kindness honour me,
Unless thou take that honour from thy name:
But do not so; I love thee in such sort
As, thou being mine, mine is thy good report.